Naruto  DMC style!
by Cody Foxtrot
Summary: Naruto is trained by everybodies favorite white haired, red wearing half demon! First time, please be gentle TT. WARNING: POSSIBILITY OF SUPER!NARUTO
1. Chapter 1

It's my first fanfic of anything, go easy on me alright?

This is the part where most authors talk to the characters, and say there disclaimer. Well, the Naruto characters don't like me. So I'll just tell you myself.

I DO NOT, IN ANY WAY, OWN NARUTO. IT BELONGS TO KISHIMOTO (?). There you go.

Summary: Naruto gets trained by everyone's favorite white-haired, red wearing half demon! WARNING: MAY BECOME A SUPER!NARUTO STORY. Deal with it.

Chapter 1: One Crazy Party!

…The story begins with the beginning of Naruto. You all know his story by now, right? How the strongest of all demons, Kyuubi, was sealed inside his stomach? Yeah, that Naruto. Anyway, he was taken by a certain someone at a young age. I'm talkin' real young. So he's trained by this someone, right? People will respect his powers now. No maybe about it. He will get the respect he deserves. He's gonna make sure of that.

………………………………………………………………………………….. (11 years after the Kyuubi massacre)

Disfigured human forms were sent flying in all sorts of directions from a central mass, all converging on two smaller beings in the direct center of the mob.

"C'mon, make this a little interesting, at least!" the smaller of the two figures yelled at the monsters.

"How ya hold'n up Blondie?" said a white-haired man in a red coat. As the monsters moved in on them, the sounds of different firearms were heard by the nearby village of Konoha.

"It's crazy how strong you are, Blondie! You're almost as good as me and your half my age!" said the now very annoyed man.

"Yeah, well that's because I don't make an ass out of myself in the middle of a fight!" said the kid. Meanwhile, the Leader of Konoha, the Hokage, was just being informed of the situation outside the city.

"Are you sure that boy is Naruto?" asked the Hokage.

"I'm quite sure, Hokage-sama. He had the whisker marks and everything." Replied one of the ninja in the Hokage's office.

"Well go get him. Bring him here; I want to see how much he's grown." Saying that, the few ninja that were in the room immediately left to find the boy. Back outside, the battle was winding down as only one terrified monster was left, trembling on the ground as it begged for its life in whatever foreign language the monster spoke.

"What do you think we should do with it?" the silver-haired man asked his young friend.

"I don't know! You're usually the one who decides these kinds of things!" yelled the young man. The monster took this as his chance to escape. Boy was it wrong. Suddenly the monster was gutted by a sword, only to have it ripped out at superhuman speeds. Soon after the monster was launched in the air. Hundreds of bullets found their way to and through the poor fiend as round after round was shot from the dual pistols of the boy. All that was left after the brutal onslaught was the head of the monster, which drifted away as sand and dust.

"So, Blondie, are you excited? You're finally heading back to your home." said the red coat man.

"Eh, I'm not as excited as I thought I'd be. AND WOULD YOU STOP CALLING ME BLONDIE!? God, it's annoying as hell!"

"Alright then, Shorty!"

"Aw, DAMMIT, that's even worse! I really hate you sometimes, Dante!"

"I know you do, but what can you do about it? Besides, I know somewhere, deep down, you actually respect me! Admit it!"

The two continued to argue as they approached the bustling city of Konoha. Suddenly, they were confronted by two ninja.

"Excuse me, but the Hokage wishes to speak to you two."

"See Shorty, this is gonna be great if the big cheese wants to talk to us already!"

"DON'T CALL ME SHORTY YOU BASTARD!!!!!"

….The village of Konoha doesn't know what's coming…

…So, how was that for a first try? Worst thing you've ever read? Review why don't ya, and help lower my self esteem, one flame at a time…


	2. Meeting the Old Man and

Alright, two reviews are enough for me! Thanks, yo!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, IN ANY WAY, OWN NARUTO (Owned by Kishimoto) OR DEVIL MAY CRY (Owned by Capcom).

Chapter 2: Meeting the Old Man and… SCHOOL!?

"So I can only assume…" the old Hokage said as he blew the smoke out of his mouth, "That you," he said, pointing at the man in the red coat, "are Dante."

"That's right!...So, am I in trouble or something? I heard that the Kyuubi was a pretty bad dude, so I figured that the villagers wouldn't like Shorty here."

"Not at all Dante…"

"DAMMIT, I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME SHORTY, YOU IGNORANT BASTARD!!!!" The Hokage looked at Naruto, a little bit confused.

"I thought he would've been used to your name calling by now, considering he's lived with you for the past eleven years."

"You'd think so, wouldn't ya? Ah well. Anyway, what are we gonna do with Half-pint now?" asked Dante.

"…friggin' jerk…"

"Ah yes. Naruto will be going to the ninja academy to become a ninja." explained the tired, old man

"Really? A ninja you say? At a ninja academy? Who'd a thunk it?" replied Dante, sarcastically.

"Don't get smart with me. I could have you thrown out of this village, Dante. I'm willing to accept your reasons for taking Naruto away, but I'm not about to take any lip from you." The old man was annoyed now.

"Hey, wait a minute, don't I get a say in any of this? Maybe I don't want to become a ninja. Demon slaying is much more fun!"

"Yeah Shrimp, it is, but when it comes to physical strength, you're not even near my level. Becoming a ninja will help you out more than you know. Besides, it might be a good thing to work on human opponents, so you figure out your own way to deal with the crazy ones."

"Yeah, whatever…"

"Naruto, ninjas learn very strong techniques. And they get paid better than demon slayers. Give it a chance, please? For an old man's sake? I could use a strong young man like you to help the people of this village." pleaded the Hokage.

"Fine! I'll do it already! Sheesh, you'd think the world would end if I wasn't a ninja…"

"That's the spirit, Shorty!"

"That's it!!" yelled Naruto, finally losing his patience and tackling Dante to the ground. The Hokage looked on in mild amusement, surprised how much they acted like brothers. Constantly egging each other on, but always watching out for each other. It was very nice to see that Naruto had someone he could depend on.

"As of today, Uzumaki Naruto is attending the ninja academy…Things are going to become much more interesting around here. I can feel it…" murmured the Hokage, still watching the two still scrambling around on the ground like a couple of hyperactive weasels.

"Naruto! Dante!" The two instantly stopped and perked up their heads at the mentioning of their names. 'Perhaps weasels were a good analogy, actually…'

"Yeah, old man? What is it?"

"Naruto, show some respect for the geezer! He's the strongest dude in the village right now!"

"I'd prefer being called old man than geezer…"

"Oh, my bad then, old man! You wanted to tell us something?" The Hokage suddenly remembered he actually did have something important to say. 'My memory's slipping. Ugh, damn my old age…'

"Yes, actually. Had you two thought about where you would live while spending time here?"

"Uhhhh…Yes?"

"Bull crap, Dante. Your plan was, and I quote, "Don't worry about it Shorty! We can just sleep on the benches in the park or something!" God, I can't believe you're supposed to be a responsible adult!"

"Well I can't believe someone shorter than my waist is eleven years old!"

"Oh, you better take that back, you stupid, son of a…"

"Um, boys? Remember me?" The Hokage interjected before another fight could brake out. The office of the Hokage was already a mess, and the fights between these two super powered almost siblings was only making it worse.

"Oh, right! Sorry old man!" They replied.

"Right…Anyway, I heard that you two were coming and I purchased an apartment for the two of you to use. It's not very furnished right now, but I'm sure you two have money to spend." With this, the two demon slayers were ushered out of the room and lead to their new apartment.

"Well, little buddy, I'm bushed. How 'bout you?"

"Me too. Tomorrow's my first day at the academy, so I should get some sleep."

"Alrighty then! 'Night, little buddy!"

"'Night Dante."

THE NEXT DAY…

"So this is the academy?" said the blonde haired boy, staring at Konoha's ninja academy.

"I guess so. Good luck, Shorty!"

"You son of a…" Dante was already long gone. "…bitch…" Naruto was left to smolder as he walked up the stairs to his classroom. "Stupid son of a…Why'd he have to leave? Really coulda used some pointers. Ah well. He probably woulda said something stupid like "Remember to avoid the scary chicks!" or something. Dumbass…" Naruto heard a voice beyond the door he was waiting behind.

"Students! STUDENTS! KIBA, SIT DOWN AND STOP HARRASING INO! Sheesh…Anyway, we will start the day off with some exciting news. You have a new classmate! Come on in Naruto!" Naruto walked in and looked around his new classroom. Looking at his classmates, he decided that these were the sorriest group of ninjas he had ever seen. Weren't ninjas supposed to be black wearing, katana wielding, badasses? 'Oh well. I'll just show them what real badasses are supposed to look like.' Konoha's ninja academy will never be the same…

Alright! Chapter 2 is up! I tried…I really did…so review, will ya?


	3. Stuff is going down!

Alrighty! Chapter three! Let's go for it!

DISCLAMAR ( - Purposely misspelled): CODY DOESN'T OWN JACK! AS IN, HE OWNS NOTHIN'! JUST HOW IT IS!

Chapter three: Talking swords, school fights… and the crazy Snake Lady?

"Yo, name's Uzumaki Naruto! I like my swords, Rebellion, and Agni and Rudra! I also like my guns! And I guess I like my bro, Dante…I dislike loud jackasses and people who think the world revolves around them. It's nice to meet you all!" said Naruto. 'My ass it's nice to meet them. That one with the duck butt hair looks like a real prick.'

"Hello Naruto! My name's Iruka and I will be your teacher. Since you're new here, sit anywhere you like! Try to be nice to the new student, alright class?"

"Yes sir!" was the resounding reply of the class. Naruto looked around the room, and chose to sit next to a sleepy-looking pineapple head. Naruto figured sitting next to the sleepy guy would be less annoying than sitting next to Doggy Boy, Duck butt head, Sun-glasses, or any of the girls in class.

"Hey pal! My name's Choji! Nice to meet you!" whispered the fatty sitting near the pineapple.

"Same here man!" 'At least they're friendly. I was a bit worried they wouldn't like me.'

"The sleepy guy is Shikamaru. He's a friend of mine. Hey, you wanna hang out at lunch?"

"Uh, sure dude, whatever."

"AHEM! Naruto, Choji, I hope you were discussing something more important than what I'm teaching, otherwise…"

"Hey, cool down, Teach! I'm new, and like you said, just tryin' to catch up!"

"Right…Anyway, the correct way to hold a kunai…" Iruka went on talking and talking, while most of the kids in class were just interested in the strange new kid. The kid wore some strange blue and red jacket, with his swords and his guns hanging from the holsters on the side and the back of the jacket. He looked, all in all, pretty menacing. But that's unimportant because the lunch bell, after what felt like hours, finally rang!

"We'll be reviewing the proper kunai throwing and handling technique after lunch, so be ready!" Most of the kids were already gone. Naruto, Choji and a now, finally awake, Shikamaru arrived at the lunch area.

"So you're Shikamaru, huh?"

"Yeah. You're Naruto, the new kid, right?"

"Yup! So, how are things in the academy, anyway?"

"Boring." replied Choji.

"Troublesome." replied Shikamaru.

"Boring and troublesome!? This is gonna suck!"

"It basically is. A word of advice, don't go near Sasuke."

"Sasuke? Who's he?"

"I'll explain, Shikamaru. Ahem…Uchiha Sasuke is a pompous asshole who loves to act like he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Any female in this village under sixteen years old claim they love him, and want to have his babies. Anyway, just stay away from him, he's bad news." Unfortunately, God had it out for these three, and Sasuke decided to challenge the new kid to a fight.

"Hey, Blondie, fight me." It was at this time that Naruto was faced with a difficult life choice.

'Should I really kick his ass and have more than half the population of this village against me?' This was also when Agni and Rudra decided that they should put in their two cents.

"Master Naruto, please do not fight this young man! You'd destroy him!" Shikamaru, Choji, and even Sasuke all looked at Naruto in shock.

"What? You've never seen talking swords before?" Naruto replied, almost as if talking swords were a common occurrence.

"Don't listen to Rudra, Master Naruto, this punk deserves it!"

"No, Master Naruto, don't be so rash! You don't need to hurt this young man!"

"Sorry Rudra, but I agree with Agni. Nobody and I mean nobody, WILL EVER CALL ME BLONDIE AGAIN WITHOUT SOME SERIOUS INJURY FOLLOWING IT! IT'S ON NOW PUNK!" yelled Naruto, dropping his jacket and his weapons. Naruto then entered his fighting stance.

"You're gonna be sorry! Sasuke's gonna kick your butt!" And the fan girls were already here.

"Dammit, Naruto! Why do you have to be so troublesome!?" yelled Shikamaru.

"Come on, Shikamaru. Let's let them have their fight. Hopefully, Naruto will be as strong as you think he is." And so, Shikamaru, Choji, and just about every kid in the school prepared to watch the new kid take on the prodigy. Lots of space was cleared for the ensuing fight.

"Alright, Duck butt head, I'm gonna kick your ass!" yelled Naruto, charging Sasuke with his fist cocked back to punch the prick in the face.

"Hn, you'll have to do better than that, idiot!" Sasuke spun around attempting to kick Naruto and end the fight as early. What Sasuke didn't expect was that Naruto was actually more competent than him. Naruto caught Sasuke's leg, pushing it towards the duck butt head to throw him off balance. With this, Naruto started his finishing combo.

"Ha!" A hard straight to the face. "Hu!" An even harder body blow. "Hiya, hiya, hiya!" Kicks to the legs, body, and face. "Haaaaaaaa!!!!!!" Blow after blow connected with Sasuke's body and face as he was pummeled with punches. Naruto's hands were a blur as he continued to punch Sasuke's still, somehow, standing body. "HA!!!!!" One final, overhead, punch final downed the emo avenger. "Sweet dreams, Duck butt head." With this, Naruto walked back over to his lunch and his new, and now very excited and relieved, friends.

"Wow, Naruto! That was amazing!" exclaimed Choji.

"Yeah, Naruto. Why didn't you tell us you were this strong?

"Well, neither of you asked. That, and what do you expect? I am a demon slayer, after all."

"Really? That's so cool, Naruto!" The rest of the day went on with little incident. The fan girls were too scared of Naruto to try to avenge the avenger, and Iruka was too busy with helping Sasuke, so they were let out early. Naruto hung out with his new friends for the rest of the day.

……………………………………………………..Dante's Day…………………

"Ah man! I just realized I have nothing to do now that Naruto's gone! Man this sucks! Oh well…nothing I can do about it." And thus began Dante's "Great Konoha Exploration" as he called it himself. He explored the different training grounds, narrowly escaping a conversation with a freak in green spandex. He climbed to the top of the Hokage heads, and enjoyed the view of Konoha in all of its glory. "Oh man, I'm starving!" It just so happened that when he said that, Dante saw a ramen stand. "Ramen, huh? Sounds good!" Dante walked into the bar like structure and ordered some pork ramen. "This…this ramen…is…oh god…"

"Um, sir, are you alright?"

"This is the most delicious thing I've eaten in…one, two, three…a very long time! I've gotta tell Naruto about this!" And with that, Dante paid for his meal, leaving a large tip for the ramen chef. Just as he walked out, however, he bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch where you're going, you dumbass!"

"Hey, calm down lady……Whoa, are you allowed to wear that in public?!" Dante yelled at the trench coat wearing snake lady.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"I mean, not that I'm complaining or anything, but aren't there children present!?" Dante's ramblings continued until Anko had realized what he was talking about.

"Oh, I get it, you're a pervert! Take this!" she yelled, throwing a kunai at the chest of the man who was obviously a ninja, judging by his clothes and physic. Unfortunately for the both of them, Dante took the kunai directly to the chest, impaling him almost down to the handle of the kunai. Anko looked on in horror as the man in red fell to the ground.

"Ow lady, what the hell?!" yelled Dante as he stood up and ripped the kunai out of his chest. Anko screamed and ran off, yelling about zombies coming to eat her. "Man, what's her deal? Sheesh, I really do have bad luck with women, don't I?" he asked no one.

Alright! There's chapter three! Review please!


	4. Too lazy to name chaps

Okay, I'm gonna do a chapter four before my birthday. This is because after my birthday, there is a very high probability that I won't be updating too much. I'm getting new video games, and as such, must vege (?) out on them until they are beaten or I am bored. So I figured I would do one more chapter before I became a potato with opposable thumbs.

DISCLAMAR: I STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING THAT I REFER TO IN THIS FANFICTION. I HOPE I DON'T GET SUED. THAT WOULD SUCK.

Chapter four: The end of day one and some other stuff happens

"Sheesh, I really do have bad luck with women, don't I?" said Dante. He began walking towards his new apartment, hoping not to get involved in any more misadventures on the way. "I'll just watch some T.V and wait for Naruto to get home. Hopefully that lady doesn't freak out too much. I'll just pass it off as one of those genju…genji…illusions!" he decided, as he walked home. Arriving there, he turned on the T.V and ordered pizza. 'Alright, let's see if those damn demons will actually let me eat my damn pizza!' Meanwhile, back with Naruto…

"Ah!!!!!!" screamed the trio of friends as they ran from a seriously pissed off lady.

"You take that back, you little squirt! He really was a zombie!" yelled Anko, really pissed now that even kids were starting to make remarks about how crazy she was.

"Sorry lady! But there is no such thing as a zombie!" yelled Naruto, turning around to make sure the crazy purple pineapple heard him. Suddenly, she stopped running and started yelling at them instead.

"Troublesome woman…" mumbled Shikamaru.

"How do you explain the fact that some guy in red got stabbed in the chest and lived?!"

"Oh, that must be Dante then. Don't worry about him, he's a…" Naruto stopped for a moment. 'If I tell her he's half demon, then that probably won't help his reputation to much.' "He…has one of those special bloodline thingies! He can survive most mortal wounds like they were nothing but a scratch!" Anko slowly blinked, then again.

"Oh. Sorry about that, ya maggots. I guess I overreacted a little." Anko said, laughing as though she had just been playing a game with the ninja wannabes.

"I'll say, troublesome woman…"

"Anyway, I just remembered I have something important to do! If you tell anyone about this, you will wish you had never been born, understand?"

"Yes m'am!" was the resounding reply. Anko poofed away and the boys breathed a sigh of relief. Glad that it was over, and since it was getting fairly dark, the trio decided to part ways.

"See you tomorrow Naruto!"

"Yeah, see ya Choji!"

"Nice meeting you, Naruto."

"Same here, Shikamaru!" And with that, Naruto was left to walk to his new apartment, where Dante was already waiting.

"Hey, Shrimp! How was your day?"

"Fine, ya jackass. I met these two cool guys named Choji and Shikamaru, and got in a fight with the most popular kid in school. Kicked his ass, too. Then we hung out some more and got chased by some crazy lady. I really like this place! It's really interesting and there's lots to do! By the way, what did you do without me to brighten up your day?"

"I wandered around the village, almost got attacked by a freak in green spandex, and climbed up that mountain with the faces on them. Then I went to this amazing ramen stand! It was the most delicious thing since pizza! Then I bumped into some crazy lady, and she stabbed me in the chest. Then I…"

"Oh, did she have purple, pineapple hair?"

"Yeah, that's her! Why do ya ask, Shorty?"

"She was the one that chased us today for laughing at her when she said the zombies were gonna eat her. I told her you had one of those special blood thingies!"

"…Special…blood…thingies…?" The conversation went on like this for a while, until the two demon slayers decided that they needed sleep.

Somewhere far off from the village…

Some dude was having a beer and some steak. (Ha! Fooled ya, didn't I?)

Back in Konoha…the next morning…and stuff…

"Dante, I have decided that you are going to take the jonin exams."

"WHA!?" yelled Dante, falling off the couch he had fallen asleep on. "Sheesh, old man, don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Naruto left for the academy a while ago, and he told me you had nothing to do. Becoming a jonin will give you something to do."

"…Sign me up!"

Alright, I tried. Chapter 4 is ova!


	5. Classtime Yo!

Alright, two days after my birthday I'm updating. Skippy…

DISCLAIMER YO: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR DMC!

Chapter 5: Class time, Yo!

"You think they don't like me?" Naruto quietly asked his friends, Shikamaru and Choji. All of the girls in the classroom were glaring intently at Naruto, all of them hoping one of them would suddenly gain the powers of heat vision and melt the poor blonde.

"Quiet or you'll make this more troublesome than it already is!" replied Shikamaru. Thankfully, this is exactly when Iruka decided to show up.

"Hello, class!" he said as he entered the classroom.

"Hello Iruka-sensei!" replied the class.

"Today, we are going outside first thing to display the proper technique for the throwing and handling of a kunai. Sorry about yesterday, but SOMEBODY," he yelled, glaring at Sasuke, "felt the need to brake the rules and challenge another STUDENT," he yelled again, this time glaring at Naruto, "who flipped out so we had to end early! Anyway… Let's head outside, class." The students slowly filed out of the classroom, the girls still glaring at Naruto, and some of them now glaring at Iruka for insinuating Sasuke had anything to do with the fight. Once everybody was outside, Naruto remembered something important to do with the lesson.

"Um…Teach?"

"Yes, Naruto, what is it?" Naruto scratched the back of his head, looking nervous.

"Um…I don't have any kune…kunay…"

"Kunai?"

"Yeah, I don't have any of those. Sorry, it completely slipped my mind to buy any yesterday."

"Don't worry about it. I can lend you some to practice with."

"Um…Yeah, about that…"

"You weren't listening to a thing I said yesterday, were you?" Again, Naruto scratched his head nervously.

"Uh…No. Sorry, Teach, but I'm still getting used to this village and stuff."

"It's alright Naruto…" Iruka started, but then finally noticed two strange metal objects on Naruto's coat. "Naruto, what are those?"

"What? Oh, these? These are my guns, Kyo and Iori! (Raise your hand if you know where the names come from) I guess these are like the ninja's equivalent to shuri…shuree…"

"Shuriken?"

"Yeah, those! They use tiny iron pods called bullets! Guns are really popular with non-ninjas and stuff! You just pull the trigger here and the bullets come flying out really fast."

"Show me." Naruto whipped out his duel pistols and aimed at one of the straw targets. He quickly fired two rounds which penetrated the entire target.

"Naruto…I think it's okay if you use those instead of kunai or shuriken, but where did you get those things?"

"Dante made them and gave them to me. If there is a blacksmith somewhere in the village, he could probably teach them how to make guns." Iruka logged that little tid-bit for later.

"Naruto, about how fast would you say you could fire those things?"

"I think about fifteen, maybe twenty, per second, why?" Iruka was shocked. 'These 'gun' things could wipe out a squad of ninja in a second if wielded by someone who knows how to use them. I should inform the Hokage'

"Thank you, Naruto. Don't worry about having to use kunai or shuriken. You can just keep using those guns, but do you think you can do me a favor?"

"Sure Teach, what do you want?"

"I want you to ask your brother to make guns."

"Sure Teach, he'll do it. He loves making them, so I'm sure he won't mind."

"Thanks Naruto." With that, Iruka turned to the other students to evaluate their technique. Shikamaru and Choji walked over after being given their grades.

"Those things are so cool, Naruto! Man, you are just full of surprises!" exclaimed Choji.

"Yeah, those things look so much less troublesome than kunai or shuriken."

"I could ask Dante to make some for you guys. But he'd probably want to make sure you know how to use them…"

"Well then, why don't you let us give it a try?"

"I don't see the harm in it. Just don't point them at anybody. And prepare for some kick back, it's a bitch if you're not ready for it." explained Naruto, handing each of them one of his guns. Shikamaru took aim and fired into the direct center of the target.

"Alright! Nice shot, Shikamaru!" Choji then fired at the target, missing the center, but coming very close.

"I think I'm liking these gun things! Would your brother really mind making guns for us?"

"Not at all. Hey, bet you I could the top of the pole with one of those!"

"Go for it!" Choji and Shikamaru handed the guns back to Naruto, who took aim and immediately shot off the top of the pole in the middle of the training grounds. The bullet sailed off into the distance.

"Good job class!" Iruka yelled, getting the attention of the entire class. "You obviously took my teachings to heart. As a special treat, I'm giving you the day off!" 'Which will give me time to report to the Hokage, and hopefully pick up some ramen!' The kids whooped at the free day off they were given, and began to leave after picking up their stuff.

Meanwhile, with Dante….

"…And sign here, and then you'll be all set up to take the exams!" said the secretary behind the counter. Dante was signing his application for the jonin exams.

"Thanks, Beautiful!" He finished signing the last of the papers, and handed them to the now blushing secretary. Suddenly, something hit him in the back of the head and he fell down, bleeding from the hole in the back of his head. The secretary screamed in horror as the man in red fell down.

"Ow……Christ and crackers, what is up with the injuries lately?!" Dante yelled, standing up. "Don't worry, Babe, it takes more than that to kill me!" The secretary looked at the now uninjured form of Dante.

'What in the world? What is with this guy?!' thought the secretary. Dante just smiled, thinking about what he could do with the rest of his day.

Chapter 5 ova!


	6. Eh, I've got nothin'

Yo! Foxtrot here! Goin' for a chapter six!

DISCLAIMER: DOESN'T OWN NARUTO OR DMC. THOSE WHO BELIEVE SO ARE STUPID.

Chapter Six: GUNS!!! GLORIOUS GUNS!!!!!!...and some other stuff…

"Alright, let me get this straight…" Dante began, "You showed off your guns at school today, and now your friends, your teacher, and possibly the entirety of Konoha want them?"

"Yeah, why? You told me you liked making them?"

"That was just to make it so you wouldn't want me to make more!"

"What!? Sheesh, you make no sense sometimes, Dante!" The two demon slayers continued arguing until Shikamaru decided to step in.

"Dante, you would probably get paid a considerable amount of money for making guns. In fact, if you just told someone else how to do it and they made them instead, you could still get paid."

"Really kid?! That's an awesome idea! I owe you one!"

"Okay, then make my gun and Choji's gun for free." Dante stood there, dumbstruck for a few moments, then grumbled.

"Freakin' kid…Fine, I'll make guns for you two. Just so you know, they won't be like Naruto's, and I'm going to specialize them to what I think you would use more efficiently. I can have them for you by tomorrow." Dante began to walk away, as Choji began his ritualistic 'I just got something for free' dance. Shikamaru smirked at his own genius, and at the stupidity of the demon slayer who could've just refused. "Oh, and pineapple head?" Shikamaru perked up at his name. "If your idea doesn't work, well…lets just say some bad shi-…things are gonna happen to you." Shikamaru shivered in fear at the threat the now extremely scary looking man delivered.

"Don't worry about him, Shikamaru, he wouldn't really hurt you too bad. Probably just a nuggie or a wedgie that would hurt for about a week," Shikamaru cringed, "And then just never do another favor for you ever again. Not too bad…"

"Aw man, what did I just get myself into?..."

"Didn't I just tell you?" One blank stare at Naruto later, the trio walked towards the center of town. Once there they saw two guys in green spandex.

"LEE!!!!"

"GAI-SENSEI!!!" Naruto looked on in horror as the boy and the GROWN MAN hugged and cried.

"Uh, Choji? Is this normal?"

"Naruto, you're a demon slayer. I thought you would've been more prepared for weird stuff like this."

"Yeah Naruto. Besides, all you have to do is ignore them. Talking to them is much too troublesome." The trio continued on their way, until a few vengeful fan girls began giving chase to the unfortunate young ninja wannabes.

ONE EXTREME CHASE SCENE LATER!!

"Man, fan girls can sure hold a grudge, can't they?!"

"Thank you for pointing out that obvious truth! God, so freakin' troublesome…" The boys had only succeeded in escaping the fan girls with the help of the girls' object of affection, walking across the street peacefully until he was violently glomped by them. This gave the demon slayer and his friends enough time to escape to one of the many training grounds on the outskirts of Konoha. Suddenly, they heard a voice.

"ROTATION!!" The sound of metal contacting something hard rang out, as the trio moved to investigate the noises. There they saw a girl with long hair and a white shirt (Yes, this is Neji. No, he isn't actually a girl. Deal with it.) with another girl who had her hair up in buns and wore a pink oriental shirt.

"Whoa, check those crazy chicks!" Naruto said that a bit too loud, as the two girls turned toward him, one of them glaring very harshly at the blonde.

"Hey! Who are you and what are you doing here!?" yelled the girl who, on closer inspection, looked sort of like Minnie Mouse.

"Sorry girls, we were just escaping some, uh…why are you looking at me like that?" Shikamaru and Choji slowly backed away, finally realizing the identity of the long haired boy as Hyuuga Neji.

"What did you call me?..." Neji asked the utterly screwed blond child as he nervously scratched the back of his head, looking for a way to weasel himself out of this situation.

"Oh, sorry man! Just, from far away, you look like a…"

"**A what?"** Neji's voice was cold, full of anger, and suddenly the air around Naruto dropped twenty degrees. Shikamaru and Choji had already apologized to the other girl, whose name was Tenten. She had accepted their apology, and all that was left to do now was to watch how this situation played out.

"Well…uh…you…youlooklikeagirl!"

**"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that. Mind repeating it?"**

"Um…yes?" Neji gave Naruto a blank stare, before turning back to Tenten.

"Tenten, what would you suggest I do?"

"Just let them go, Neji. The kid's new to the village according to these two." Neji turned again, looking at Naruto with a blank expression.

"I'll let it go this time, but if you ever do anything like this again…"

"Yeah, sure, got it, see ya!" Naruto yelled, running for his life away from the scary, very girly looking Hyuuga. Shikamaru and Choji waved goodbye and followed their unfortunate blonde friend. The two had found their third member at his apartment, hiding in the closet in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. After calming their friend down, the trio had lazily enjoyed the rest of the day cloud watching, at Shikamaru's request.

…The next day…

"Alrighty then, fellas! I present you with…your new guns!"

Well, that was fun. Don't you just hate it when jerks like me pull things like this? Anyway, review please! (Assuming you read.)


	7. WOOOOOO!

Fanfic style: Gomu Gomu no…Chapter Seven no Jutsu!

Cody Doesn't own DMC or Naruto.

Chapter Seven: And then there was much rejoicing

A peaceful, duty free day in Konoha was just what the Hokage needed. After weeks and weeks of having to do mountain after mountain of paperwork, he had finally succeeded in completing all of it. It was the weekend, giving the poor overworked old man a much needed reprieve. The ninja leader decided to catch up on his…reading, if you can call it that. That is, until a group of explosions rocked Konoha. The Hokage, along with many ANBU and jonin, rushed to the area of the explosions, only to find Choji, Naruto, Shikamaru and Dante.

"I think Choji enjoys his new toy a little too much, eh Shikamaru?" Naruto said.

"Choji, calm down. You're being troublesome." An evil and very maniacal look came upon his large friend's face as he began mumbling to himself.

"Nobody will ever call me fat ever again…heheheheh……" The Hokage decided he had been quiet long enough.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?!" Many in the area cringed, as they knew that those that messed with the Hokage's little free time met severe consequences.

"Oh, hey old man. I was just giving these two," Dante said, pointing to Shikamaru and Choji, "Their guns. I promised I would personally make them a gun. Speaking of guns," Dante started, grabbing a large carrying case and throwing it towards Shikamaru, "This is yours, Pineapple head." Shikamaru opened the case and found a very large gun with an oversized barrel.

"You still didn't answer my question, you jackass." The Hokage was about to blow his top. 'If this situation doesn't resolve itself in the next two minutes, someone's getting an ass whoopin'.'

"I didn't? Oh, well I figured a grenade launcher was a good choice for a big, strong guy like Choji. Shikamaru, your gun is made to pierce any kind of armor, even that ninja energy stuff."

"Chakra, Dante."

"Oh, so you're a ninja expert now, huh Naruto?"

"ENOUGH!!!" All eyes immediately shifted to the pissed off old man. "I don't care anymore. Just don't make too much noise, don't hurt anybody and maybe, MAYBE, I'll forgive you for taking away from my precious free time." With that, the seething Hokage left four, who were now scared out of their wits.

"Man, what crawled up his ass and died?" said Dante, trying to relieve the tension. Annoyed glances were all that Dante could find among his brother and his friends.

"So, explain to me how exactly I fire this thing." Dante explained to Shikamaru that his gun was meant as a long range, armor penetrating sniper rifle.

"Sniper rifle, huh? So, I hold it like this, pull the trigger and…" A loud shot was heard, as the bullet rocketed off into the distance. "Cool. What's it called?" asked the lazy ninja.

"Well, I would've called it Spiral. Of course, it's not my gun, so…"

"Spiral it is then. Coming up with a name is too troublesome."

…in Suna, one thousand miles away…

"Oh yeah, a little to the left…now move the towel…yes!" the legendary pervert, Jiraiya, murmured to himself as he immersed himself in his favorite activity. The peeping tom had convinced himself that he was not going to get caught today. Luck had been with him most of the day, until now, that is. Just as we was about to call it a day, quitting while he was ahead, a bullet destroyed the branch he was on, alerting many to his presence, namely the women he was peeping on. After his beating, he was left to wonder, 'What the hell was that?'

Back in Konoha (Batman swirly screen music)

The young ninjas had practiced with their guns for the rest of the day, and decided to get to sleep early that night so they could have more time during the day tomorrow to do things…

(Cue the generic time skip sequence!)

The next few months passed without incident. Training, school, eating, training, Sasuke being emo, school, Lee and Gai being weird, eating…everything was normal. Naruto had actually become a competent ninja, even with the demon inside him messing with his chakra control. The Hokage had helped Naruto with his chakra control and had found out about Naruto's huge chakra capacity, allowing Naruto to learn many high powered jutsus. We join all of the young ninja hopefuls on the day of the academy's genin exams.

"Alright, I'll cut right to the chase students! Today, you will be judged on your ability to perform your ninja duties! Pass, and you become a genin. Fail, and you have to repeat the academy until you are deemed worthy of becoming a genin! Alright, who's first…ah! Akimichi Choji!" Announced Iruka as he entered the classroom. Choji got up and walked towards the door to the classroom.

"Good luck, Choji!"

"Yeah, good luck, buddy." Choji smiled, nodded his head towards his friends and left towards the testing room. Choji came back a few minutes later with a shiny, new headband. His friends whooped, and then they interrogated Choji for the test details, which he wouldn't tell.

"Then it wouldn't be much of an exam, would it." Choji only received two annoyed glances. Name after name was called, and then,

"Nara Shikamaru?" The lazy ninja walked to the door, and was about to leave when he turned around.

"Just in case I fail, and this is the last time I see the rest of you, I'll say what I've wanted to say for a long time…" The class waited with a surprising anticipation at the lazy boy's words. "Well…#$! YOU, YOU FREAKIN' FANGIRLS!!!!!" (I make characters so OC…sorry about that.) With that, Shikamaru left to the test room, leaving the class too shocked to do anything put stare at the door where the boy had just left the classroom. Naruto finally broke the long, awkward silence.

"Wow, it looks like Shikamaru finally snapped…" said Naruto.

"Nah, he'll be back to normal when he comes back." Commented Choji. Shikamaru returned with a headband around his arm.

"You've been waiting for a long time to do that, huh Shikamaru?" asked the pudgy green ninja.

"Yes, Choji, I have. It felt good. Very good." Shikamaru said, a very relieved and happy smile adorning his face. About fifteen minutes later,

"Uzumaki Naruto?" Naruto stood up, with his trademark fox grin.

"Looks like I'm up! I'll pass for sure!"

BOOM! End chapter. Review please. Kthnxbai.


	8. Mizuki Leaves Konoha, gets ass kicked

Yo! Sorry for those of you actually waiting on these things! (Why do you do it to yourselves?! It depresses me…) Lots of new games for me to play. That, and I'm losing interest. I can change fandoms weekly, so I may completely forget about this for a while and come back to it later. Sorry if I disappoint you, but as I've been told before by my friends, I suck……

Okay, no more emo ranting from me. On with chapter eight!

DISCLAMAR (I love spelling it like this!): I don't own anything I mention in this fanfiction.

Chapter Eight: Tests and Betrayal…I'm so original!

Naruto walked into the small testing room the teachers had set up so they could privately assess a student's abilities. Naruto spotted Iruka, who had warmed up to Naruto over the time he had been attending the academy. He also saw Mizuki, who was an asshole. For some reason, Mizuki had something against Dante (Something about stealing his look) and had taken out his frustration on the closest thing to Dante, Naruto.

"Alright Naruto. I need you to create a clone of yourself." Iruka said. Naruto nodded, and focused his chakra. He tried to create a good clone, but it ended up some weird and dead looking on the floor. Iruka shook his head. "I'm sorry, Naruto, but if you can't even perform a simple clone jutsu, then you can't pass the rest of this test. Please, try to understand."

"It's alright, Teach. I just gotta work on my clones, that's all. No big deal. Besides, I wouldn't end up on Shikamaru's and Choji's team anyway, so not like it really matters…" Naruto tried to hide his disappointment with a large grin, but Iruka saw through it easily. Mizuki saw it as his way as killing two birds with one stone. Naruto returned to the classroom without a headband.

"Don't worry about it, Naruto. Being a Genin just means more troublesome work to do." Shikamaru said when Naruto had sat down.

"I know, Shikamaru, it's just that…I worked so hard on that damn clone jutsu, and I still don't have it down!"

"Well Naruto, it might be because of your large chakra capacity. You have a lot of chakra, and it's pretty powerful, so it's naturally hard for you to control." Choji sagely explained. Naruto was consoled, but not much. After the last genin test was given, the class dispersed to their own devices. Choji's parents and Shikamaru's parents had shown up to praise their children, and helped console the depressed blonde. As a Naruto walked home, Mizuki approached him.

"Hey, Naruto. I know how much you wanted to pass that exam."

"What do you want, asshole?"

"Well, I just wanted to tell you about a super secret exam for only the elite ninja in the class." Using adjectives like "super" and "elite" automatically get Naruto's attention.

"Go on."

"All you have to do is…"

THAT NIGHT…

Iruka had finally found the blonde bundle of energy he had come to respect.

"I…finally…found you." He muttered, out of breath. Naruto was covered in sweat only achievable through intense and long training.

"I can finally do the clone jutsu, Teach! Well, a version of it, anyway…" Iruka pondered what Naruto meant, when his instincts kicked in. He grabbed Naruto and jumped out of the way just as a giant shuriken imbedded itself in the ground where they once were. "What the hell!?" Naruto turned to see Mizuki standing there, with a ferocious expression adorning his features.

"Hey, you little blonde haired freak! Hand over the scroll and I might let you two live!" Naruto's only response was to shoot at the offending ninja, who jumped out of the way just as the bullets tore through the branch he was on. The silver haired ninja took out two more of his giant shurikens, throwing them at Iruka and Naruto. Naruto cut the shuriken in half, and Iruka simply jumped out of the way.

"Do you know why I hate you, you damn freak!?" Naruto seemed uninterested as the infuriated man yelled at him. "It's because of the Kyuubi! That's right Iruka, the demon that killed your parents is standing right in front of you!" Iruka was shocked at this realization, as he, like many, had been told that the Kyuubi died the night of the attack. However, he also realized, surprisingly, that the boy couldn't possibly be the Kyuubi, he was just Naruto.

"And why do you think I care, you #&-in asshole! I don't even like you! But if it's a demon you want, it's a demon you get!" When Naruto had finished, an intense blast of chakra came from the blonde haired boy as he transformed. When he was done, he appeared as a golden, were-fox. Naruto seemed to glow with his new power. One of the most distinguishing figures on the boy was the eyes though. Naruto's eyes were still blue, but they instilled the kind of fear one can only feel when looking at their own death.

"You think you can scare me with a simple transformation, you stupid kid!?" Mizuki screamed in denial of his own fear. Naruto began laughing at the terrified man, as Iruka started backing off.

"This is more than a simple transformation. I met the Kyuubi at the age of five, and we made a deal. He made me a half-demon, and I released him back to his world. He still comes and visits me every once in a while. He's actually pretty cool." Naruto began shinning even brighter as he grabbed his sword off his back. "And now I'll show you something. It's a sword combo that no one has lived through before. Now…ARE YOU READY?!" Naruto yelled, as he dashed toward the terrified silver haired chunin. The blonde fox began with a diagonal slash across Mizuki's chest. Blood sprayed from the wound as the man screamed in pain, but Naruto was far from finished. The young ninja followed up with another diagonal slash, forming an X on the chunin's chest. Following with a spinning horizontal slash, Naruto launched himself into a frenzy of stabs, all causing a great amount of damage to the already close to death traitor. As the frenzy began to slow, Naruto planted his sword in the ground and swung, using the hilt as a handle, and kicked Mizuki, hard, in the man's already heavily bleeding chest. Using his momentum, Naruto spun, drawing the sword from the earth, and slashed the traitor in half. "Down and out…" Naruto said transforming back as the dying man lay there, unable to do anything but bleed.

"Na-Naruto?" Iruka finally piped up, and the boy turned to him.

"Sorry about lying to you, Teach. But you can see how telling people would probably make them not like me all that much, you know?" Iruka nodded dumbly, hardly believing what had transpired. Finally, reality hit him and he came back to his senses. Smiling, he said,

"Naruto, close your eyes." The boy blinked, confused, and then complied with his teacher's request. A heavy cloth made its way into Naruto's hand. Naruto opening his eyes and was surprised to see a Konoha headband in his hand. "Congratulations, graduate!" Iruka said. A fire seemed to come to life in Naruto's determined eyes.

"Thank you, Iruka. You have no idea how much this means to me…"

…………

Dante felt he had missed something extremely important, but decided that was just the booze. Or maybe it was the way the snake lady had spiked his drink. He didn't care either way, as long as he didn't wake up missing a kidney later.

Man, I felt good writing that! Although, I guess my opinion doesn't really matter, does it? Oh well. R&R plz, kbai.

P.S.

If someone wants to write a fanfiction like this, can you tell me beforehand? I want to see how much better than mine it is! Oh, and thank you to everyone that reviewed! I appreciate it!


	9. Team assignments and junk

Hello peoples. I'm on Christmas break, so I'm gonna try to advance this story line a little bit. I realize I don't update that often and I apologize to those who actually like this (for some strange reason…not trying to insult you or anything).

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, DMC, or anything else I make a reference to that's already owned by someone else.

Chapter Nine: Meeting the team...freakin' woooooonderful…

The next day, Naruto showed up at the academy, proudly showing off his shiny new Konoha headband. Today was the day he would put on his ninja clothes and then finally show people that being a ninja wasn't all about being an Uchiha, as everybody seemed to think. Naruto wore a simple black shirt, with some long, dark green, cargo pants to hold some ninja necessities. He also wore a dark green jacket. On his back were his Rebellion and his twin handguns, but he hadn't brought Agni and Rudra with him today. Instead, he brought his surrogate brother's purple electric guitar. Except for the purple guitar, Naruto had the look of a seasoned ninja, if that ninja was a midget. Knowing this, Naruto proudly walked into the classroom, earning many questioning looks as well as some angry ones.

"What the hell, Naruto!? Didn't you not pass the test?!" shrieked one of Sasuke's many fangirls.

"I took a super, ultra secret exam for only elite ninjas! I passed it and Iruka gave me a headband!" Naruto replied, glaring at the fangirl who questioned his amazing skill. He took his normal seat near Shikamaru, who looked shockingly determined, and Choji, who was munching away on his seventh bag of chips.

"Yo, Naruto, what's up with the guitar?" asked the lazy ninja.

"It's actually Dante's, but he lets me borrow it every once in awhile. It's really cool, too! It shoots electric bats and stuff! I would totally show you, but it would probably destroy the entire school or something." responded the blonde. Shikamaru gave him a skeptical look, but shrugged. Shikamaru had taken to wearing a long sleeved dark green shirt with dark brown pants. Spiral was sitting on the desk in front of him. Choji was wearing a large blue jacket with his clan symbol on the back, along with brown pants. Choji had somehow gained the miraculous ability of holding on to his grenade launcher, which had become somewhat of a security blanket for Choji, while still eating massive amounts of chips.

"So are you two enjoying your new toys?"

"Yeah, but my mom went crazy when she saw me walk in with the huge thing. I had to sleep on the roof just to drown out her screaming." Shikamaru said, laying his head on the desk to try and get some sleep.

"Mmmph, mph mmummple mmph!" Naruto looked towards his larger friend.

"You might want to swallow first, Choji." When Choji finally looked ready to answer, Iruka busted in.

"EVERYBODY SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" The shocked students looked at their heavily bandaged teacher as he stormed into the classroom.

"Sensei! What happened to you?!" screeched Sakura.

"I'd rather not talk about it…" he said, casting a quick glance toward Naruto. "Anyway, today I'm going to announce the team line ups! Everybody listen up…" Iruka proceeded to announce the nameless teams nobody cares about. "Alright! Team 7 will consist of…Haruno Sakura…Uchiha Sasuke…"

"YES!!! IN YOUR FACE INO!!! LOVE CONQUERS…"

"SAKURA, SHUT UP!!!" yelled Iruka, effectively stopping the pink haired howler monkey's love rant. "The third member of team 7 is Uzumaki Naruto." Very pissed off, Sasuke and Sakura turn to glare at an extremely shocked Naruto.

"Bu…bu…but Teach! You can't put me on a team with Useless and Emo Duck!" Naruto protested.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but it wasn't up to me. Just deal with it. The same for you, Sasuke, Sakura. Understand?"

"Hn."

"HMPH!"

"I'll try Teach. Shouldn't yell like that. My bad."

"Thank you Naruto. Anyway your jonin leader will be Hatake Kakashi. Moving on, team 8 will consist of Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino. Your jonin leader will be Yuhi Kurenai. Team 9 is still in circulation. Team 10 will consist of Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji and Yamanaka Ino. Your jonin leader will be Sarutobi Asuma…" As Iruka trailed on and our favorite ninja's in training were left to either grumble about or enjoy their new teammates, Naruto began to think about his future as a ninja.

'I sure hope this is going to be worth it. If I have to listen to Useless talk about how great Emo Duck is all the time, I swear I'm going to kill myself!'

"And those are all of the team line ups. Just relax in here and your team leaders will come to pick you up in a few minutes. Good luck to you all!" Iruka said, promptly leaving afterwards. Random jonin came and picked up their random genin teams. Eventually, though, Asuma came to pick up his new team.

"Holy crap, Shikamaru! Your leader guy's huge!" Naruto yelled, pointing at the bear of a man that just walked in.

"Yeah, thanks for blowing out my eardrums. Come on Choji, let's go. Good luck, Naruto."

"See ya later, Naruto." And with that, Naruto was left alone with his teammates. After a long awkward silence, Naruto tried to break the ice.

"So, do you think our leader guy's going to be cool, or what?" The only response Naruto got was two icy glares.

"Aw, don't worry about them, cutie." A strange new voice said. "I'm sure even if you don't have good teammates or a good teacher, you'll still be very powerful." The guitar that Naruto had laid on the desk in front of him began to pulsate with energy, before a bright purple light came off of it. When the three ninjas in training could see again, they were treated to the sight of a half naked woman with hair covering her, uh…ta-tas. Her bottom half was covered by a strange black mass.

"N-n-n-n…NEVAN!?! I thought Dante sealed you after the last…uh…"

"Oh, you mean with the whipped cream? Oh, that was fun!" the woman, now known as Nevan squealed. "Anyway, I figured out a way to break out of the seal. Now I can spend all the time with you that I want…" she said, strutting over to Naruto.

"Uhhhh…SASUKE!!! SAKURA!!! HELP!!!" the poor blonde screamed. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke was on the ground with a nose bleed and Sakura was too busy trying to help the innocent emo. Fortunately, this is exactly when Kakashi finally got his lazy ass to the academy to meet his new 'team'. As he entered, his visible eye widened, a look of utter surprise assumed to be on his face.

'Bloody avengers, screeching fangirls and this strange kid who's…WHOA…man, at least I'll be entertained before I fail them.' The cyclops thought to himself.

"Oh, hey new Teach! Wow, you are pretty cool lookin'!" said the blonde haired demon slayer, somehow completely forgetting the ravenous succubus behind him. Nevan quickly tackled him to the ground.

"Uhhh…right…meet me on the roof in five minutes." Kakashi poofed to the roof leaving his new students to deal with their own problems. Naruto managed to push Nevan off of him and raced out the door to the roof, with the sultry succubus running after him. Sasuke had managed to finally wake up and after a short briefing from Sakura, ran to the roof with Sakura closely following the emo duck.

Meanwhile, with Dante…

"Man, I feel like rockin' out!" the white haired demon slayer said to nobody, going through his pile of stuff to find his purple electric guitar. Eventually, he found a note from his surrogate little brother.

'Yo, Dante! I felt like takin' Nevan today, so I did! Don't worry, I won't hurt it or nothin', I just feel like showin' off a little. Thanks!'

"Aw, man…Oh well. Maybe I'll look for that crazy snake chick. She was a riot!"

Whew! Man I'm lazy! Took me a month to finish this, working on it on and off. Pretty pathetic for a month, am I right? Oh well. Back to school, less updates abound, and it's not like I'm good at this anyway.

By the way, Nevan is an actual weapon from Devil May Cry 3. And Devil May Cry 4 is coming out soon! Woo! It's going to be awesome! Again, sorry about the slow updates, for those of you who care. Peace, I'm out like the gout!


	10. You're the next contestant on

So…you all probably hate me for the whole, you know, not updating for an eternity…yeeeeeeeaaahh…

Well, anyway, I'm gonna try to get a new chapter pumped out.

FINAL ROUND: LET'S ROCK!...'cept not…

Disclaimerrrrrrrrrrr: I don't own shit, so don't think I do. They belong to their respective owners and stuff. Cool beans.

Chapter Ten (Finally): Desperately Trying to Advance the Plot…Wait, there was a plot?!

"Tomorrow, you three will be taking another test-"

"But Sensei, we finished the tests to become a shinobi already?" Kakashi cringed as the pink haired girl voiced her concerns. It had hardly been ten minutes and this group had proved to be the most annoying bunch of wannabe ninjas he was forced to endure. Sitting on the roof of the school, he had begun explaining to them the mechanics of Konoha's teams. The little Uchiha kid hadn't said a word this entire time, head balanced on his hands, brooding while this little pink…thing clung to him like some sort of tick. Yeah, that was it, a tick. And then there was this blonde kid…poor Kakashi didn't even know what the hell to make of this freak, considering blondie was getting chased by a half-naked woman when he got to the classroom. Speaking of which, the woman was currently groping the little lucky bastard, and that reminded Kakashi he needed to get home and finish rereading chapter twenty seven…

"Pinky, do you honestly believe we would let kids like you be shinobi for passing simple tests like that?" The girl could only solemnly shake her head. "Good. Now, the test I'm giving you tomorrow has a 66 percent failure rate." Kakashi's visible eye crinkled into a happy curve as the little sorry sack of an Uchiha and the pink monkey girl reacted accordingly: eyes buggin' out accompanied by frantic and desperate looks. Kakashi could already hear Sakura's exclamation, when he noticed the strange look on the blondie's face. That damnably weird kid looked deep in thought.

"That would be…"

"About a one in three chance of succeeding, honey." The sultry succubus, Nevan, told her charge as she played with his hair.

"Oh, thank y- WILL YOU STOP WITH THE HAIR!?!" Sakura had chosen this exact point in time to speak her mind and, combined with Naruto's fairly high decibel yell, nearly shorted out Kakashi's smut filled mind. Nevan laughed as Naruto jumped up and began running around as Sakura continued trying to get Kakashi to listen to her. Sasuke continued to brood.

"You know what!?" The cyclop's yell brought Naruto to a screeching halt, stopped Sakura's rant and made three birds behind him explode from the liquefied frustration emanating from the veteran. "Read these, they'll tell you what to do and where to be! Tomorrow, at noon! I'm gonna enjoy this chance to 'accidentally' kill you little…Gah!" With that, Kakashi poofed away, leaving three extremely confused ninja's in training and one very amused succubus/guitar thing. Taking charge, Naruto picked up the papers, placed one be each of his teammates and was about to wander home in a trance until Nevan decided to make another grab at him. Once again realizing the trouble he was in, Naruto snapped out of his anger induced semi-consciousness and took a flying leap off the top of the school, a giggling Nevan following quickly after. It was five minutes later when Sakura regained her senses and began hounding Sasuke for a date. Sasuke, who was back to normal, restrained himself from throwing the pink banshee off the roof of the school as he decided that no consequence was too great to escape from this girl. That's when it hit him…

Back with Naruto…

After getting Nevan to calm down (don't ask how, these kinds of things shouldn't be repeated…), Naruto returned home.

"Yo, Dante, did you forget to pay the electric bill or somethin'?"

"I'm sure he just wanted us to enjoy some _alone_ time, Naruto…" Choosing to ignore that statement, the blonde youth continued his search for his new apartment's lights. Muttering a quick "Yes!" as he found the lights, he flicked them on. And then the screaming started.

"Oooooh,


End file.
